This is my first job out of college and I’ve enthusiastically worked there for a three years and two months. I figured that I would prove how valuable I am to the company and they would subsequently pay “to keep me.” I am interested in the field and saw it as the ideal entry point to a very competitive and elusive industry. I love challenges and considered it my goal to be the best first-hire they ever had!
In the past year, I’ve been a model employee and have acquired numerous skills that have made me a valuable resource to the company. I support Edenkoban, Germany and the client has noted that our services have been nearly flawless past year. Also, I am one of a handful of people that know how to use applications(STARCCM+, STARCD, ICEM…) that has become the new industry standard. Additionally, I learned the aforementioned application on my own time and dime. I’m always assigned the harder/more frustrating projects that no one wants to work on. I spend a ridiculous amount of over-time at work, have had to cancel numerous plans in my personal life for the sake of a deadline, and frequently work (btw, unpaid hours). I’ve never complained about ANYTHING because I realize that it’s all part of the job and meeting the deadline is the only thing that matters.
I am writing this letter with regards to the recent appraisal held in the organization. As action speaks louder than words, I was really excited because my colleagues have said wonderful things about me and raised my hopes by saying I would definitely be offered a much better salary due to my unprecedented improvement in such a short time. My boss said amazing and very encouraging things about me. He said he wished he had other employees like me and even suggested that I teach specific skills and applications to the employees in my team.
That brings us to wage negotiation time. I thought salary position is in the bag! However, the raise that he offered me was a measly increase. I was dumbfounded! All I could utter was, “analyst position doesn’t come with a salary?” I was speechless and felt so disrespected and unappreciated that all my effort was spent on holding back the tears and gaining my composure. While I was trying to calm down the rising rage and trying to formulate a logical unemotional argument. The panic sets in and all my acquired knowledge on salary negotiations and any sense of self-confidence is destroyed. I stupidly stammered “that’s cool…that’s cool..that’s cool” repeatedly and I stood there for a couple of minutes blinking back tears, but paralyzed otherwise.
Am I silly for expecting them to value my contributions to the company? He knows how much of myself I give to my work and he still screwed me over. Why? Is it because I started at such a low pay scale, he thinks that I will always accept the minimum? Did I set a bad precedent from day one? As a manager, isn’t his best interest in keeping me, a model employee, happy? Or, is his real goal to save the company money, by any means necessary…even at my expense. I’m heartbroken, and deep down I know it’s irrational to be this emotional about it, but I really have put so much of myself into my work and therefore this slight is that much more insulting.
I’m so sorry that this is so long. I just really needed to get this off my chest and to talk to someone about it. Thank you so much for your time and allowing me to vent. I would really appreciate any insight you may have…